Why Moms Ignore Their Own Stress Signals (and What It Costs Them)

Photo by Anthony Tran on Unsplash

This post may contain affiliate links. Read the full disclosure here.

There’s a very specific kind of tired that only moms can really understand… it’s the kind of tired where you can’t imagine doing anything at all, only to find you have to because who else is going to do it? In the end, most moms are brilliant at just powering through things, mostly because there’s no one else to pick up the slack – someone always needs something, and you become an expert at pushing your own needs right down to the bottom of the list so that, after a while, ignoring stress just feels normal. But it’s not normal, and it’s not the responsible option, so keep reading to find out more. 

Little Stress Signals Don’t Look Like Emergencies 

Half the problem with all this is that stress doesn’t usually come at you feeling like an emergency that needs to be sorted out quickly before it causes too much damage. Instead, it’ll usually be slow and subtle, and it might be that you just feel a bit more tense or you’re snappier than usual, and so on. 

These are the little signals that are so easy to dismiss because they don’t put a stop to your day or anything you’re doing – you can still make lunches and do the school run, go to work, cook, clean, remember birthdays, sign forms, and answer everyone’s questions… but just because you can do these things while you’re stressed doesn’t mean you’re okay. 

Moms Feel Guilty About Needing Anything 

Something else that tends to happen a lot is that moms will often feel under an impossible pressure to be endlessly patient, available, and calm, and because of that, it’s unlikely you’ll actually say you need a break even when you really, really do. What you’ll do instead is tell yourself you don’t need a break because other people need you more, which basically means you’re doing yourself out of basic human maintenance – and that’s never good. 

And anything that asks for time, money, or extra planning is going to feel like an indulgence, when something helpful like an RMT massage would solve a lot of issues if only you could persuade yourself it’s something you need to do. So moms just push through because it feels easier, but at some point, it’s definitely not going to feel easier anymore. 

When Stress Builds Up, Everything Gets Harder

The thing about ignoring stress is that it’s not going to go away, and it’s not even going to stay small – it’s going to just keep getting bigger and bigger and more and more difficult to handle, and you’ll end up snapping at people, forgetting simple things, losing patience with yourself, sleeping badly, and getting more stressed as a result – the cycle won’t ever end. You’ll just get more and more uncomfortable and probably have some nasty headaches and burnout to deal with, too. 

The cost of too much stress is mental, of course, but it’s also physical and emotional, and it can affect relationships as well, which is why it’s well worth doing something about it early on before it becomes a problem that’s too big and too destructive.

*This article is based on personal suggestions and/or experiences and is for informational purposes only. This should not be used as professional advice. Please consult a professional where applicable.