Don’t Limit Your Life with Self-Sabotage!

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Self-sabotage is often something that comes up for people. It is a vicious cycle, as you stop yourself from being happy and doing things that you want to do. Whether you self-sabotage in your career, your relationships, or general happiness, it isn’t a nice thing to experience.

Self-sabotage often comes from perfectionist tendencies and very high expectations of yourself. You might put a lot of pressure on yourself to achieve certain things but also battle in your mind about how you are not good enough or not capable enough for something.

A little fear and negative self-talk, when you are about to make a change, a decision, or do something you want to do, is normal. But it becomes toxic when you do it constantly. You will never get to where you want to be in life, and you will constantly feel stuck.

Identify your self-sabotaging ways

Self-sabotage can show up in hundreds of different ways. It is first important to understand your habits and patterns. You can then consider why you are doing it and what you specifically need to do to change. Consider what areas in your life you are feeling stuck or like you are lacking. Try to be more aware of the things you are doing around these tasks that are keeping you stuck. Here are some common examples of self-sabotaging behaviors:

Procrastination (always waiting until the time is right or you feel ready to do something, putting something off, waiting until the last minute to do something, never committing, not making decisions)
Overworking (working too much to the brink of burnout, working an abnormal amount of time, working to avoid things in your life such as people, feelings, or tasks)
Perfectionism (nothing ever feels good enough, you have to go over and over something, and you are constantly tweaking or overthinking something)
Unhealthy coping mechanisms (turning to food, alcohol, drugs, or another harmful activity when you are feeling stressed, overwhelmed, or emotional about something)

Consider why you are doing this

It can be helpful to dive into why you are doing these things. Do you think you are not good enough? Are you trying to do too much on your own? Do you do this automatically without thinking? When you start to unpack your behaviors and why you are doing them, you can start to see what actions you need to take moving forward. This step might be helpful to explore with a professional, such as a trained therapist.

Work towards new behaviors

When you are constantly self-sabotaging, it can be ingrained deep within you, so it can be hard to suddenly stop. You shouldn’t set these kinds of expectations. Instead, you should work towards introducing more positive actions and thoughts, at the same time as trying to reduce the negative ones.

For something like overworking, you may consider how you can set boundaries with yourself and how much you work, at the same time as scheduling something once per week to do outside of work.

If you are working on your coping mechanisms, then you may consider working with a professional to help you find the right coping mechanisms to suit your lifestyle. This is especially important if your go-to is something high-risk, like alcohol or drugs. You can find reputable and compassionate womens drug rehab programs that can provide you with the care and support you need to make a positive change in your life.

Self-sabotage is a cruel thing. Don’t let it rule your life forever.

*This article is based on personal suggestions and/or experiences and is for informational purposes only. This should not be used as professional advice. Please consult a professional where applicable.