Here’s How to Teach Kids to Think Two Steps Ahead
Photo by Anastasia Shuraeva
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In all honesty, it’s kind of funny how kids can plan a snack heist with absolute precision, but then act shocked when leaving their shoes in the middle of the hallway leads to a trip-and-stomp situation five minutes later. They can strategize like generals in a war to get what they want, but the second they do something to themselves, well, a tantrum happens.
Like, the brain is clearly capable of planning; it just isn’t always pointed in the direction adults want. That’s usually why things get gamified, like nurturing how to properly do math, parents and teachers try to turn it into a game so that they can better learn. That whole lecture thing and sitting down doesn’t usually work, nor does it stick.
Because yeah, nobody wants to sound like a motivational poster. And kids definitely don’t want to be “trained.” But with all of that said here, teaching a child to pause, predict what happens next, and make a slightly better choice is one of those skills that pays off everywhere, school, friendships, sports, routines at home, well, all of it really.
Start with Tiny Choices
Well, the fastest way to make a kid tune out is to turn planning into a speech. Not even adults usually want to hear speeches either; they’re not fun. So, the better move is using tiny, everyday choices that already exist. This is actually something a lot of parents who do the Gentle Parenting method do, because it lets their kids know they have choices, but there are some limited options (meaning the kid has to choose wisely). So, the kind of stuff that happens without warning, like getting ready for school, packing a bag, choosing a snack, deciding what toy to bring in the car, or picking shoes for the weather.
You see? It’s pretty small stuff, but it’s basically a good stepping stone. But the tone matters too on how you go about this, though. Ideally, a calm, curious tone gets better results than a “gotcha” tone. If it sounds like a trap, kids will either shut down or double down. If it sounds like curiosity, they’ll usually engage, even if they roll their eyes a little first, because of course they will.
Make Consequences Feel Obvious (But Not Threatening)
Well, a lot of parents want kids to think ahead, but the consequences get framed like threats, which makes the whole thing emotional instead of thoughtful. This is honestly a major issue when it comes to all of this, to be honest. Like, the moment it turns into “If you do that, you’re in trouble,” the brain stops strategizing and starts defending. Sometimes, adrenaline kicks in, too, and it can be harder to think clearly when your brain is in survival mode, because it’s then about fight or flight.
But a better approach is to make consequences feel obvious and neutral, like cause and effect. Here’s actually a great example to get them thinking and understand: “If the water bottle isn’t in the backpack now, it won’t magically appear at school later, right?” Or, “If the homework stays on the table, it can’t be turned in tomorrow, because tomorrow it’s not here.” You’re probably getting the idea here, right? The whole goal isn’t for this to be like scary or anything; it’s not even supposed to be intense, for that matter. You need them to think realistically, not in their little ideal world.
And yeah, sure, they might still choose the wrong thing sometimes, but the brain starts building that internal map of “choice leads to outcome.” It takes time; they need to learn, but it will get to the point where they’ll understand that they need to be realistic about the choices they’ve made.
Make it Fun
So, this was already mentioned earlier, and it’s seriously a good idea to put this into consideration! So, when it comes to games, when you make choices, well, you get to deal with those choices. Even the same can be said for those Choose Your Own Adventure Books. But there’s also another reason to try and gamify it for kids (and this isn’t just about having a good time either).
Basically, this is where a lot of people accidentally block critical thinking. Adults fix things fast because it’s efficient. After all, time is short, because the mess is annoying, and because it’s easier. But when adults solve everything instantly, kids don’t get to practice predicting outcomes. You see the issue? Hence why it’s better to play games with them.
So the next time a kid is about to do something that’s not dangerous but is probably going to backfire, it helps to pause and ask for a prediction. “If you stack them that high, what do you think will happen when the cat walks by?” Or, “If you use that marker on the couch, what happens next?” The point isn’t punishment; it’s getting the brain to run the next scene.
Gamify It
But then there are actual games (though the example just mentioned was Jenga), you could look into some classic games like a round of Chess, actually, whether it’s on the computer or the old-fashioned board game, it does a great job at teaching kids to think ahead. Checkers is an okay example; card games are good, especially when some math and heavy strategizing are involved (Yu-Gi-Oh, Pokémon, and MTG are decent examples, depending on the age of the kid).
Yeah, games are a great example, but it doesn’t have to be games either; even small things that kids need to build up skills for can work too, like cooking (like adding too much or too little of an ingredient, for example); letting them eat too much means they’ll have a tummy ache; those sorts of things can help too.
You Have to Praise the Thinking
Well, more specifically, you’re going to have to praise how they’re thinking, how deep they’re thinking, rather than what the outcome leads to overall. So, a kid can make a good plan and still get a bad outcome because life happens. If praise only shows up when everything goes perfectly, kids start avoiding planning because it feels risky. So it helps to praise the process. Well, that, and it helps them understand that there isn’t any shame if they got it wrong.
*This article is based on personal suggestions and/or experiences and is for informational purposes only. This should not be used as professional advice. Please consult a professional where applicable.
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