Don’t Ignore the ‘Holiday Scaries’ — Experts Say They’re a Mental Health Check Engine Light

As the holiday season approaches, the term “holiday scaries” has started trending. It describes the mix of anxiety, stress, and emotional exhaustion many people feel between Thanksgiving and New Year’s.

Behind the lights, gifts, and social posts, millions are quietly struggling with financial stress, family tension, and the pressure to create picture-perfect celebrations. For some, that emotional weight triggers more than just seasonal stress because it can resurface grief, loneliness, or past trauma.

“The holidays tend to amplify everything, from joy, grief, guilt, and even loneliness,” says Dr. Michael J. Salas, Licensed Professional Counselor–Supervisor and founder of Vantage Point Counseling in Dallas.

“People often come into therapy this time of year not because something new is wrong, but because the holidays bring everything they’ve been avoiding to the surface. It’s not about being weak; it’s about finally feeling emotions that have been numbed or ignored.”

Dr. Salas explains that unrealistic expectations are one of the biggest emotional triggers during this time. “When people measure their holidays against an ideal, whether it’s family harmony, romantic perfection, or social media aesthetics, disappointment is almost inevitable. It creates a sense of failure in what’s supposed to be a happy season.”

Financial and Emotional Pressures Collide

According to a survey, 36% of Americans took on holiday debt, averaging $1,181, up from $1,028 in 2023. Most borrowed through credit cards, and 60% said they feel stressed about it, with nearly half of parents with young children carrying holiday-related debt.

“Financial pressure and emotional pressure often overlap,” says Dr. Salas. “We tell ourselves that love is shown through gifts or grand gestures, but the most valuable thing you can give is presence and honesty. Overspending to keep up with expectations only deepens stress.”

Why “Holiday Scaries” Hit Harder After Burnout

According to Dr. Salas, many people enter the holiday season already emotionally depleted.

“Most of us are running on fumes by December. We’ve spent the year managing work demands, personal challenges, and now we’re expected to switch instantly into joy mode. That disconnect creates guilt — people think, ‘I should be happy,’ but their body is still in survival mode.”

He adds that when rest is replaced by constant activity — decorating, hosting, traveling — it can intensify symptoms like irritability, anxiety, and insomnia.

How to Cope: Dr. Salas’ Grounding Tips

Lower the bar for perfection. “Good enough is often great. Don’t equate the quality of your holiday with the amount you spend.”
Set emotional and financial boundaries. “It’s okay to say no to invitations, conversations, or expenses that drain you.”
Acknowledge grief and loneliness. “Don’t force cheer. Make space to honor loss, like light a candle, share memories, or spend quiet time reflecting.”
Protect your routines. “Keep sleep, nutrition, and movement as stable as possible. Structure helps regulate stress.”
Reach out early. “If sadness or anxiety feels overwhelming, don’t wait until after the holidays to talk to someone. Therapy can help you unpack what’s really behind it.”

“The ‘holiday scaries’ aren’t just about stress because they’re signals that something deeper might need attention,” says Dr. Salas. “It’s a chance to slow down and ask yourself what you really need this season, not what you’re expected to do.”

He adds that turning the holidays into a time for reflection instead of performance can transform them from overwhelming to meaningful.