Surviving the Coronavirus: A Real Life Diary Entry from a Michigan Mom

Surviving the Coronavirus: A Real Life Diary Entry from a Michigan Mom

I hate this.

The coronavirus is definitely the scariest illness I’ve ever had but even scarier, to watch my family suffer from it too.

I’m worried about my husband because he has underlying health issues such as high blood pressure. I am super healthy yet I’m struggling with a myriad of symptoms:

Loss of taste

Loss of smell

Headache

Body aches

Chills

Fatigue

Burning sinus cavity BURNING like it’s on fire and stings so bad

Runny nose

Congestion

Facial pain

Runny, watery eyes, okay now they’re bloodshot and profusely watering.

Facial rash

Tingling in fingers and feet

Dry Cough

Wet cough

Mucus cough

Choking cough

Burning eyes, did I mention burning eyes?

Feeling like I’m choking on water cough

Shortness of breath

Very tired

Swollen tonsil

My feet feel like they’re 100 pounds

It hurts to walk

It hurts to sit on the toilet the backs of my thighs are so sore

I feel like death.

So many symptoms but I can’t seem to rest because I’m constantly checking on my husband who has now developed Covid 2 days after me. I’m constantly cleaning and wiping down everything. I’m constantly checking in on my kids who I’m probably driving crazy with my FaceTime calls since we are all self quarantined to separate rooms in my house.

One of my children tested negative so that was a huge win today! My other child tested inconclusive-negative which means she will need to re-test. She re-tested negative.

My other child tested positive the same day as I did. She was mildly ill for a couple of days and she’s fully recovered.

Tomorrow is Election Day. I’m so into politics but Covid has me homebound and I won’t be able to vote for the first time since registering in the late 1990s.

Update, our city allowed an emergency vote by proxy. We get to vote!

2020 has been an awful year in many ways but also very beautiful in many others.

I’m scared for our country and the world.

I’m scared for my kids to grow up around hate and division. I pray for my future grandkids that this world will be kinder and gentler by then. We can only hope.

I’m scared for myself for these symptoms I’m experiencing while trying to keep a brave face. I’m scared there will be a sudden turn of events with this virus that will take my life. I’m not ready to die!

I guess I’m writing this in case I do die, so if anyone found this they’d know what my thoughts were.

I’m trying my best to stay positive and hopeful. I’m praying and also terrified. I’m hardly sleeping. I need rest. The tiniest little flutter in my calf makes me question if I’ve formed a blood clot.

Apparently, that’s something to watch with this virus. Covid makes your blood thicker. I’m trying not to be paranoid but be aware because I seem to have every symptom plus other symptoms not yet reported by others. I feel like the wind has been knocked out of my chest.

I’m 39 years old and perfectly healthy.

I’ll write more later but for now, I’ll mask up and go to the basement where my husband is quarantined and I’ll check on him.

He’s struggling to breathe. I called our Dr. he says to check his oxygen with a pulse ox meter if I can find one. What is that? We are healthy people, we don’t have medical equipment just laying around. Target order online and drive up for the win! My daughter picked up the meter. Dr. says if oxygen gets under 92% to head to the ER. My husband is at 88%. Oh wow. This is scary. His oxygen is tanking. What is going on?

He cannot hold down a sip of water without choking on it and throwing the water up. I’ve never witnessed someone so ill. He’s in a state of delirium and doesn’t want to speak. He’s using hand gestures to point to what he needs. He can’t keep his eyes open. He mutters the words “if you take me to the hospital they’ll never let me out.” I had chills run down my spine. It was an eerie feeling.

I’m so weak myself.

All these symptoms are running through my body. I’m going from my bedroom on the 2nd floor to the basement to check on him and running back up the stairs to the main level to get the supplies he needs, and back downstairs to deliver supplies, then back up 2 more flights of stairs to my room and shoot…I forgot to take his temp.

My gosh, I can’t breathe. So back down the stairs all over again (you get the point) and I am struggling to breathe myself. I’m winded. I check my pulse ox, oh no. I’m starting to tank. Oh no. What if I can’t help him? I need to force myself to rest. I have to recharge. So much water, zinc, magnesium, D3, vitamin C, Tylenol, Zyrtec, soup, rest- everything my Dr. said to do.

How can anyone compare this to a cold or the flu?

Surely they haven’t had this. I feel like I m going to die but my will to fight to get better is so strong. I can’t let my family down. I can’t let them know how weak I’m truly feeling. I would not wish this on my worst enemy. God, please help us.

My husband is barely breathing. His under eyes are blackish blue. That’s it- I’m calling 911. My husband refuses to get help.

I reached out to my husband’s father for help in a last-ditch effort before calling an ambulance.

My father-in-law finally convinced my husband over a FaceTime call to let me take him to the ER.

When we pulled up to the hospital doors it was like a scene out of a movie. Hazmat suits and all. I wasn’t allowed to get out of the car. As the attendant was helping my husband into the wheelchair I said “I love you” and the car door closed.

They rushed him away.

He was so delirious he didn’t say I love you too. I’ll never forget that feeling. His mind was so far away, did he even hear me? I watched him as they wheeled him away and wondered if I’d ever hear his voice again. I had to get back home so I could crawl into my bed.

I am so weak. I’m giving myself a pep talk on the ride home. I can do this. I just need rest. My body feels like it’s physically shutting down. I need to shut my mind off for even just 1 hour. What day is it? Oh my, it’s Thursday. But it was just Monday. All the days are running together. I’m absolutely exhausted.

My kids were terrified seeing their young parents,

mostly healthy overall, become weak and helpless. They would FaceTime me from their rooms where they were quarantined. We prayed and talked until we started to meet up in our hallway with masks on and would have little chats. Such an odd scene. Is this real life?

Wow, it feels so nice to see my kids again. To have human interaction and just talk. We are going to get through this. I’m just going to lay my head down and rest for a moment. It’s so hard to rest. I’m waking up every 60 minutes in a panic checking my phone to see if the hospital called to update me on my husband. Rest.

Thank God for intentional friends. The ones who don’t say “let me know if you need anything.”

I’m not the type of person to ask and quite frankly I don’t know what we need. Food? Orange juice? Clorox wipes? We are running out of toilet paper and I can’t leave the house. NyQuil. We need that too.

Our friends would bring food and supplies and drop them off at a designated table in the garage. Other friends brought us our favorite treats, cookies, and coffees straight to our porch. Another dear friend dropped off coveted Lysol wipes, Lysol spray and hand sanitizer, and other goodies to our porch.

This stuff is suddenly worth more than gold.

I can’t tell you how much it means or how many times I’ve cried. Waving to my friends through the window as they stood in my driveway waving back. I’m smiling because I’m grateful but I’m crying because I miss them and everything else about normal life.

Having dinners delivered to us from friends and family was one thing I didn’t have to worry about. I’m so grateful. I’m counting my blessings.

The hospital decided that my husband can come home after he refused to take part in a clinical trial of accepting donated plasma from previous Covid patients. He was too sick to ask the risks and wasn’t sure what to do. Instead of educating him, they discharged him with no medicine.

I know they’re tired too but his oxygen is still low and he is struggling to breathe. How am I supposed to help him? I put my hand on him and started crying out to God for help. I played Tauren Wells, Wreckless Love Worship Medley on repeat. I read a study online from Harvard and called my Dr again asking for steroids for my husband to help him breathe. Praise God the steroids are working.

Day by day he’s getting better. Baby steps.

My daughter and I have fully recovered except I still don’t have my taste and sense of smell completely back.

7 months later: my husband is considered a “long hauler Covid survivor.”

He’s still not 100% better and gets winded at age 42 just from walking up a flight of stairs, but he’s alive and well otherwise. This virus is real and it’s nasty. Wash your hands and if you’re sick, stay home. It’s not “just a cold” to everyone.

By self-quarantining for 14 days, you lower the chance of possibly exposing others to COVID-19. The best way to protect yourself and others is to stay home for 14 days if you think you’ve been exposed to someone who has COVID-19. (CDC.gov)

Cheers to surviving!

Be Well,

Teri, MMN Health and Wellness blogger

 

Teri Rae Socia

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