What to Do When You’re Worried About Your Child’s Mental Health

By Greg Lozano, Licensed Professional Counselor at Grow Therapy

If you have concerns about your child’s mental health, you are far from alone. Many parents are worried about their child’s mental health and are looking for actionable ways to help their children feel better.

There’s no doubt that there’s a looming mental health crisis among children right now. Even before the pandemic, children were experiencing increased mental health issues. According to the CDC, in the decade just prior to the pandemic, depression, feelings of hopelessness, and suicide ideation had all increased by 40%.

Signs That Your Child May Be Struggling with Mental Health Issues

One of the struggles parents face is being able to recognize whether their child is having an issue or not. All children have difficult days and weeks. It’s normal for children to struggle as they move through developmental changes and transitions, such as starting school or going through puberty. But many parents feel unsure about whether their child is facing a typical childhood challenge or a mental health disorder.

Signs that your child may be struggling with a mental health condition include exhibiting feelings of hopelessness, trouble sleeping, wanting to be alone for long periods of time, and seeming very withdrawn. You can also watch for changes in behavior, such as not wanting to socialize with friends, getting in trouble frequently at school, and overthinking everyday tasks.

According to the National Institute of Mental Health, other signs that your child may be struggling with a mental health condition, rather than just going through a rough patch include:

Frequent temper tantrums, meltdowns, or emotional disturbances.
Talking frequently about their fears.
Physical disturbances, like tummy aches or headaches that have no clear medical cause.
Having difficulty sitting still and/or constantly moving.
Changes in sleep patterns or experiencing nightmares.
Trouble making friends.
New academic struggles and/or a drop in grades.
Losing interest in activities they used to enjoy.
Obsession with diet or exercise and/or body image issues.
Self-harming.
Substance use and substance abuse.
Increase in risky behaviors.
Suicidal thoughts.
Hearing voices or experiencing hallucinations.

There are many mental health conditions that can affect children. Common mental health conditions among children, according to the National Institute of Mental Health include:

Anxiety disorders
Depression
Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)
Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD)
Eating disorders
Autism spectrum disorder

Taking Action: What to Do About Your Child’s Mental Health

If you have any worries about your child’s mental health, the first thing to do is try to talk to them about it. This isn’t always easy, of course, and it’s quite possible that it will take some time for your child to open up to you about their struggles.

One of the best ways to approach this is to set aside some of life’s distractions (work emails, housework, your phone) for a little while and give your child your undivided attention. Try to engage with your child, which doesn’t necessarily even mean talking about what’s bothering them.

But on top of that, depending on the age of your child (such as a teenager or young adult), you might want to try and see what’s happening and how they’re coping with their mental health. Specifically, what’s happening to them and what are they trying to use as a coping mechanism. For example, if they’re a teen or an adult, they may have an addiction or could even form an addiction to substance abuse. So you could look into a childhood trauma test for them; even though you may think they’re not dealing with any trauma, you honestly never know what could have happened to your child or what’s even currently going on with them.

Seeking Professional Help: Finding the Right Mental Health Provider

Having a parent to talk to (when and if they are ready) is valuable, but for kids who are showing signs of a mental health issue, getting professional help is vital. Parents often struggle with how to go about this, and where to find the help that they need.

Your pediatrician is a good person to start with. They know your child’s history and can help you understand your child’s mental health needs. They can also recommend a mental health provider in the community who can help your child. Another resource is your child’s school. School psychologists and counselors can help your child during school, and also recommend mental health professionals to help your child outside of school.

Sometimes parents are also able to find a mental health provider for their children by recommendations from school counselors, word of mouth, or getting a list of providers from their insurance companies.

When these methods don’t work, or insurance doesn’t have enough available providers covered, and parents are looking for more assistance getting their children the help they need, some other resources for children’s mental health services include:

SAMHSA’s Treatment Services Locator
SAMSA’s helpline, which can help you find local services: 1-800-662-HELP (4357)
Health Resources and Services Administration (HRSA)’s website, which lists health centers that offer reduced fee and slide fee care.
National Library of Medicine’s website offer a comprehensive directory for finding mental health care.
National mental health organizations, such as Anxiety and Depression Association of America.
The National Alliance on Mental Illness often list providers on their websites.

Sometimes the mental health care your child needs is immediate. If your child is in any kind of danger, has hurt themself, or is thinking about hurting themself, call 911 or the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255). Other resources include the Crisis Text Line (text HELLO to 741741) or the Lifeline Chat at the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline website.

Strategies for Supporting Your Child’s Mental Health at Home

Whether or not your child is in therapy, supporting your child’s mental health at home is important. After all, your child spends a great deal of time at home, and whenever possible, home should be a safe space for your child to express their feelings and recover from the stresses of their school life and social life.

Still, parents may not know how best to support their children at home, especially when their children continue to show signs of distress at home or seem resistant to help from their parents.

Creating a Safe and Supportive Environment for Your Child – The first thing you can do is work on making sure your home is a secure and reassuring space. How to accomplish this depends on the needs of your child. Generally, a space free from judgment, ridicule, or praise is what children are seeking. Keeping your home a judgment-free zone means focusing on encouragement more than anything else, and fostering a growth mindset.
Encouraging Open Communication About Mental Health – When kids are struggling, parents often don’t know how to approach discussions about mental health with them. They may feel uncomfortable themselves about broaching these subjects, and they may not feel equipped to talk about these difficult topics.

The first step is simply to understand the needs of your child right now. Make sure you are thinking about what your child needs, and not what you need as a parent. Then, it’s all about being as transparent and non-judgmental as possible.

It can also feel difficult to introduce your child to the idea of seeing a therapist, but keeping things straightforward and simple can help. You can say something like, “This is a new person who is going to play with you and hang out with you and who is going to help you understand yourself better,” Mann suggests.

Self-Care for Parents: Taking Care of Your Own Mental Health – You can’t care for others if you aren’t caring for yourself. That means it’s vital for parents to engage in self-care as they care for their child’s mental health. Parents should think about what self-care means for them — whether it’s getting a massage, taking a walk or hike, doing some yoga — and prioritizing that.

For some parents, going to therapy themselves is the right course of action during a period when their children are struggling. Therapy can help you learn how to be kind to yourself, and how to stop the anxious ruminations that come from just being a parent.

Hope and Help for Families Dealing with Children’s Mental Health Issues

Managing your child’s mental health can feel isolating and heartbreaking. Parents should know that these feelings are normal. Remember that although you may feel you are alone in your struggles, you aren’t. So many parents are in the same boat as you are right now. Most importantly, support is out there for your child, and for you. There is light at the end of the tunnel, so keep the faith, and allow yourself to have hope.

About the Author:

Greg Lozano is a Licensed Professional Counselor at Grow Therapy, a national mental healthcare company streamlining and refining access to exceptional mental healthcare.